well frackity frack, i'm up a pound...

It's been a couple of days on maintenance, and after all that clean eating and working out, on Sunday I discovered that my morning weigh in has resulted in a 2 lb gain. I went to the acupuncturist and after he did a body scan, concluded that I'd actually lost fat and gained muscle so I'm not too concerned. Besides, a few days later (i.e. this morning), I weighed myself and saw that I'd lost a lb of that 2 lb gain so I'm actually only up ONE pound and I'm really hoping that's muscle. 

I've been going to the gym and hitting the weights a little more heavily than usual, swapping out my usual 20 min pre and post workout cardio sessions. I still do my pre-cardio, actually, but I've tried a few classes that are offered at the gym- cycling (which I now very much enjoy) and boot camp with weights. I usually abhor classes that are crammed with people, which boot camp and classes like zumba tend to be. I am not comfortable being surrounded by so many people and generally enjoy working out in solitude. However, the cycle classes are pretty small (biggest class I've been in so far had less than 10 people in it) and the one boot camp class I did was fun, but I'll probably only participate if it just happens to coincide with my schedule. Too many people makes me feel... itchy. I don't know, like in my brain- a tugging anxiety and unreasonable annoyance at the existence of others. 

::Shrug::

But I tried the class anyway. I took this personality test thing online (personalysis, but the free version at http://www.tonyrobbins.com/disc-profile/ if you want to try it out) and it was kind of hilarious how accurate it is. Basically, I'm extremely people oriented and extroverted, like leadership positions and being acknowledged, enjoy structure and rules and prefer work settings that allow me to do my own thing, travel, and blah blah blah. It goes on to say some more things that are all pretty much true, but what it also did was remind me of my weaknesses- things I have to be aware of that could come around to bite me if I'm not careful. There are a few that I already knew, like I tend to trust people to do what they say and tend to go out of my way to help others without thinking about myself, but one that I didn't think about was that I also tend to shy away from things I don't have excessive information about (i.e. if I'm not in control, I won't do it).

This is something I do see often. If I feel out of my depth and uncomfortable due to lack of something or other, I'm pretty good at finding ways around it. 

So I've decided that along with my weight loss and detox, another thing I want to add into my life is to do more things that I know are really good for me, but freak me out and make me crazy anxious. Not in the bad way, mind. I'm not going to suddenly induce myself to have panic attacks by forcing myself to sit in shark infested waters or anything like that, but I want to put myself in more situations that make me uncomfortable but will make me a better person.

I know, some people are thinking- girl, you lived in a developing country for 2 years without total knowledge of the language and culture, without family and friends. You got a degree at a fancy university, leaving your parents for the first time in your life, and joined a sport you never played before, a TEAM sport on top of all of that even though you're a creature that craves solitude and distance. How much more uncomfortable can you get?

And honestly? Only some of those things were uncomfortable for me. By far, the most anxiety producing thing of all those things was joining rugby. Being around people made me twitch back in high school. Joining the tennis team was my first step in trying to become a better person- I made friends, grew into a more social creature, and started to become active. It would lead to a bigger drastic change- a sport that required me to not just play nice with others, but to have full contact with people, both aggressively (no problems there) and supportively (big jump out of my comfort zone). Once I got the hang of people hugging me, I kind of liked it (it only took like 4 years to get used to it...) 

Joining the Peace Corps after all that wasn't actually that difficult for me. I know, that's kind of a dick thing to say considering how hard it was for so many people to make that decision, to those who are now currently making that decision. But it just, wasn't. I had no concerns about the language, the culture, the people, even my things. Ok, I was a little worried about my things because I couldn't get a straight answer from anyone ("It Depends" became a recurring nightmare), but I was mostly just really excited and had no other expectations. 

You know why? Because that's stuff I was good at. Chatting up people, struggling academically with language, figuring out how to navigate around a place I didn't know, all of this didn't induce as much anxiety as it might have. Actually, figuring out combis was a little worrisome cause I was convinced I'd die each time I took one outside of my community, but it all worked out in the end. 

But what I realize is that the thing that freaks me out the most more than anything else is being unprepared. Walking into something without a clue, without the opportunity to do massive amounts of research and then have previous experience to compare it to, makes my heart skip 12 beats. I, for example, didn't think I could do the boot camp class because I've never taken an instructional course for anything fast paced before. I was confused during the thing, but it involved a lot of movements that I had done before with my trainer and my usual workouts so it wasn't so bad. I think zumba was give me a heart attack, because I have never taken a formal dance class (besides when my mom put me in tap dancing and ballet when I was so young, I barely have any memories of it).

So I've decided that I need to do more things that freak me out. Which is why, at my internship, I say yes to anything the boss asks me to do, even if I have no idea wtf he's talking about. I say yes, I nod exuberantly, I take a look at the data or file or whatever, and then I tell him I have no idea what he wants and he's going to have to explain it all to me step by step. Thank God boss man is a totally awesome teacher who's always willing to take a few minutes to explain things to me. 

I've now also decided that once I start school in August, I'm going to do one more thing that gives me a punched in the stomach feel just thinking about it. I'm going to take a capoeira class for the 2 years I am there. I want to be on my way to becoming a capoerista. If you don't know, capoeira is like a brazilian dance/martial art combo thing that looks amazing. I won't be able to do all the fancy shmancy high paced twists and flips and amazingness that I see on youtube and blogs for a long long while, but I'll be on my way! Mind, this freaks me out b/c again- it's dancing and I don't know dancing, I'm not at all a one-on-one kind of aggressor (definitely passive aggressive and damn good at it), and I can't do a solid pushup, let alone a handstand... all of these things and my fear of failure will be working against me, which is WHY I know I have to do this. 

Also, I would prefer it if you're reading this, to never ever bring up capoeria with me EVER until I actually join the class. I'm not kidding about being freaked out, and talking about it will make me more scared. I need to get to that point where my anxiety is balanced by my excited enthusiasm... right now, mind clawing anxiety is 97.6% of my decision, and the enthusiasm is about 2.0%. The remaining 0.4% is blank space and white noise... I'm pretty sure it's actually a visual representation of my anxiety that I don't want to categorize as anxiety cause 98% is too damn high. 

Alrighty, that's all for now! Oh, except today I had a craving for chocolate so I ate 1 Hershey's dark chocolate piece, 2 rolos, and 1 Easter Butterfinger egg. That's a lot of chocolate and it was heavenly cause they were all melting from the 95 degree heat today (at 7pm), but I probably won't be happy about it tomorrow. Whatever, it was yummers.

OK that's all for now for reals. I'm going to finish reading this book called "Lean In" by Sheryl Sandberg (very interesting read about powerful women leaders in the workplace) and then try to sleep! Nighty night, sweet dreams <3 div="">

week 1 of maintenance is almost over and i've re-gained NOTHING! SUCCESS!!

A quick summary:
3 days pre-fast diet of fruits, veggies, fish, tofu, no seasonings or anything else
2 weeks of juice fast of only that detox fermented juice, diluted in water
2 weeks of post juice fast diet of fruits, veggies, fish, tofu, no seasonings or anything else

Last Sunday, I started reintroducing new things back into my diet. The foods I've put back into my body, with zero change in the scales are: cottage cheese, greek yogurt, baked korean sweet potatoes, and egg whites. These are all things I used to eat all the time (protein dense stuff that keeps me full and staves off hunger with an axe) and I'm crazy happy to have them back in my diet! Even more than that, I was really concerned because one night I was super hungry after working out (I just joined LA Fitness for the next 3 months, which I'm hoping will become a habit to go to every day!) and decided "ok, this is the night I introduce eggs back into my diet." So I went and boiled a whole bunch, and ate 4 egg whites before bed.

The next morning, I was up almost a pound and I thought... damn it! I can't eat egg whites?? That SUCKS. Except I had some more that day because... I like eggs. The next morning, I weighed myself and discovered that my weight had gone back to its lowest like nbd. I realized that eating right before bed does some funky stuff with my body's water retention. Once I figured that out, I realized that I really need to eat my last meal like at least 3-4 hours before I sleep and let my body process it all. So that's what I've been doing!

Now that it's summer time, though, this food thing is starting to get hard. My internship has been celebrating nurse week and has had some great food for cinco de mayo and today there was an outdoor grill with burgers and hot dogs and baked beans and this and that and I just wanted to shove everything in my mouth. I could smell the hot dogs grilling and feel drool pooling out of my mouth like a cartoon. Ridiculous. STILL I resisted, ate a slice of watermelon, grabbed another salad with some cottage cheese and walked away.

Except later I went to Costco and bought so many different fruits and veggies and protein sources like more greek yogurt and cottage cheese and string cheese and tilapia and eggs and I'm so excited to eat everything. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to try my very first grains! I bought a giant bag of red and white quinoa at Costco that I'm really hoping my body loves and doesn't freak out and reject. Because I love quinoa. Please love me back, quinoa.

I also bought an oversized bag of almonds that I'm slowly going to munch on during snack time cause the massive amounts of cookies, kettle corn popcorn, bagel chips, and chocolates at the office are major temptations. So grains and nuts are coming back into play by the weekend!

Next week, I'm going to try popcorn, coconut and olive oil, and rice. The following week will be chocolate, alcohol, and oatmeal. The week after is hot sauce, sriracha, and bread. Then I will finally reach poultry, beef, and pork! I think I might throw in coffee and tea somewhere in there, but I want to keep as much salt and caffeine out of my system for as long as possible. These are all things I'm hoping to try again, but chances are I'll mix it up as things come. Plus, I'm probably going to add korean food in there sooner than later (like kimchi... man, I want some kimchi) but I'll play it all by ear.

I'm no longer going to the acupuncture place like every other day. Now, since it's maintenance, I only go once a week for just a few minutes. I'm not sure what's supposed to happen during this time, I think the acupuncturist wants to measure my weight, % body fat and muscle, and make sure I'm not regaining everything I've lost. I think he also plans on doing some acupuncture on my ears? From what I've heard, it's supposed to help me control my cravings for not so good for me food... but to be honest, I don't hold much faith in that. We'll see when the time comes, but I want a steak covered in bacon with a side of mashed buttery, roasted garlicy potatoes and cheesey bread with red wine or a beer. Followed by a cheesecake covered in coffee ice cream. That would be true happiness on a plate. I don't think some needles in my ear lobes are going to stop me from wanting that, but I do think I've proven my will power to be super strong so I'm not going to eat shity food, but that's because I won't allow myself.

Deny, deny, deny. I'm pretty sure something about that isn't healthy, mentally, but ah well... it's happening! Plus, once I figure out my gym going rhythm, I'm not going to want to do anything to mess up the work I've been putting in so it'll get easier. Right now, the gym is a disgusting festering mass of human bodies at 6pm. I hate working out when there are people around, so I'm going to try to get in the habit of either working out directly after my short days (when I generally finish around 1 or so, which I'm hoping is such an odd hour that no one will be at the gym) and at like 5am on my usual 9 to 5 days (I've never been to the gym that early, so we'll see if it's populated like post-zombie apocalypse or a community ready to pass around the bubonic plague... aka super empty or cramp packed).

Then again, I just tried a cycle class and really liked it. But I'm happy to cycle on my own too! I'm just tired of giant gym dudes hogging all the squat racks and bench presses :c Plus, I'm sorry but I can't lift like 300lbs off the ground so when you're done, could you take those giant weights off instead of making me do it? Rude.

We'll see how things go! None of my pants fit anymore, except a pair I stole from my mom and a pair of pants I bought upon returning to the U.S... black skinny jeans that currently fit like regular pants, but at least they stay up! My other formal pants, I have to donate (there is no saving them) and my jeans? I can slip them on and off without undoing the zipper or button. Ridic.

Shopping fun.

Ok, bed time now. Tomorrow, I start the morning with some eggs and quinoa, maybe throw in some cilantro and cheese? Mmmm... I love food.

CHAUFA!

the acupuncturist made me cry today...

Had a chat with my med school brosef about all this fasting I'm doing, and his final words were "don't call him doctor. He's not a doctor." lol.

So alrighty. I went to the acupuncturist today. Since this last Sunday, I've been allowed to have one meal (lunch) every day, and two meals juice (breakfast and dinner). My lunch consists of vegetables, fruits, tofu, and/or fish with no seasonings (aka, that pre-fast). I'm to eat until I'm no longer hungry, but stop before I get full. This is terrible for me, because I'm never not hungry. I always want to eat; eating is amazing. Plus, I'm not really a "one giant meal" kind of person. For the most part, I'm just constantly snacking. I probably eat an actual meal meal amount in a few hours, but broken down because I get a bit distracted and am doing other things. If I'm not grazing, I'm probably about to binge because I'm crazy hungry. This happens maybe once every couple of months, when I lose track of time and get really absorbed in something and totally forget to eat. Then I go home and down an entire large cheese pizza in less than an hour. It's terrible, but I'm also kind of impressed by my ability to eat vast quantities of cheese so life moves on.

Anyway, I'm trying to figure out what exactly one lunch meal consists for me because what I've noticed so far is that I wake up hungry, have some probiotics, vitamins, and omega-3 tablets, and then sip on some juice. About 2-3 hours later, my stomach is about to cave in on itself and I'm counting down the hours and minutes until lunch at 12. I grab an enormous salad with some fruit, like woah that's a lot of lettuce but I eat the entire thing and I'm not full. I'm still, actually, kind of peckish. I should probably get some tofu or fish but for the last few days, haven't been able to. Tomorrow, I'm bringing my own to work with me so I have it on hand and that should help a lot. But anyway, I eat the salad, and eat the fruit, and then about 2-3 hours later, I'm so hungry all I'm thinking about are burgers and hot wings and steak and pho and pizza and empanadas and thai curry and naan and just so much food that I want in my body. But I resist, I keep downing water like I'm trying to drown my cravings until I get home. Once I get home, I get to sipping on that juice again and the feelings quell. And then about 2 hours later, I'm trying to force myself to sleep so that I can wake up and drink more juice cause damn it, I'm hungry...

Now, I think this is good news regarding my metabolism but bad news because I hate being hungry. I mentioned this to the acupuncture dude and he didn't really give me any answers on what to do about it. We did talk about my workout schedule though. I have lost zero weight since last Sunday. I haven't gained anything, but 4 days of eating only 1 meal of salad and 2 meals of juice without weight loss is kind of a bummer. He says that I need to sweat more. He's obsessed with me sweating more. I mean, I get it. I should sweat but cardio doesn't really make me sweat. He's suggested that I do this thing where I wear a long sleeve shirt and sit in my bathtub, filled only up to my belly in water as hot as I can take. Then I get out and wait for 10-15 minutes, during which time my body will start to sweat. I follow it with a shower and apparently, I should still be sweating for a while after that. I told him I'd try it and after a run today (6km) wearing long sleeve underarmour with very very light sweating (maybe it's the dry air?), I went to go do that BUUUUTTT turns out, no one in my family bathes so no one's tried the plug in a while and neither of the bathrooms work. Womp, womp.

I told my dad, he said he'd fix it so I guess nothing to be done until then.

Besides the lack of weight loss and the constant hunger, I also have a rather sore throat (it was cold last night and I woke up with extremely dry mouth, like wow the inside of my mouth felt like numb leather), my jaw hurts when I open my mouth wide, and my shoulders are super tight. When I told the acupuncturist all of this, he had me lie down and put needles all over my tummy, side of my knees, top of my foot, on my face above the jaw, on my neck, and I looked like a pin cushion. All this was fine. A few places pinched but the pain was momentary at best. And then he put some needles on my thumbs.

What.
The.
Fuck.

Look at your left thumb nail. About a centimeter below your nail and half a centimeter to the right of where your nail ends, that's where he put a needle. Try pushing on that with your other thumb nail. It hurts right? Yea, that spot was a freakin bitch. I got no warning, he just puts it in, I cringe at the pain and then it doesn't go away. It gets worse. As I'm cringing, he puts in a needle in both thumbs and I tell him, IT HURTS. He looks at me and asks, "still hurts? Yea, these ones hurt." I can't breathe and I immediately burst into tears, my entire body gets super tight and tense, all the other needles are burning at this point because I can't relax. He immediately takes the needles out of my thumbs at that point and tries to calm me down, and I'm like sobbing. He tells me that he should have explained about those before doing it, but no apologies for making me cry. That's kind of a dick move, but I'm too busy trying to stop crying so I don't say anything. He hands me a tissue and rubs at the spot on my thumb until the pain goes away.

Then I just lay there for another 30 minutes until our session was up and he took out the other needles. The last thing I told him regarding the needles? "Don't ever do that again." So at least that'll never happen again. I sure as hell will make sure it doesn't.

Besides that though, those remaining 30 minutes were fairly pleasant once I got myself under control again. My jaw is still tight but it should go away by tomorrow. It started yesterday and was so bad, I couldn't open my mouth very wide but it got better today so I imagine it should be mostly gone by tomorrow. I don't know about my throat though. I don't know why I'm such a weirdo when I'm sleeping and do these things to myself. Stop it!

Well, I'm really hungry right now and can't stop watching BJ DIVA on youtube, eating massive amounts of food. That, and epic meal time and sorted and maangchi and man food is EVERYWHERE AND I WANT IT ALL THE TIME. Sigh.

I'm also still looking for an apartment for school, but my future roomie found a few potential places so huzzah! Excited! Ok that's all. You have a good week now, ya hear?

Chaufa
-Sue

one day left in my 2 week fast...

I got weirdly sick last night and wasn't able to update as planned, but here's what's up so far:

On Thursday, I went to another treatment session at the clinic and this time, got full on acupuncture all up on my tummy and thighs. But this wasn't just acupuncture, oh no. The next thing the doc does is attach wires to the needles sticking out of me and wooooo, turns out I'll be getting some electric shock goodness. This was a little unpleasant, at least more so than when I just got thighs and tummy wrapped with the machine, but it wasn't too bad. I did this for about an hour and I was done but the unpleasant bit was when he was chatting with me regarding my "Recovery" stage, post "Fasting" stage.

Come Sunday, I will be taking a bottle of juice for breakfast and dinner, but will be eating during lunch. On day one, I get to boil some vegetables and drink the liquid ("you can have a little bit of the vegetables," said doc). The days following that, I get the same diet as the pre-fast: fruits, vegetables, tofu, fish and no seasonings. The unpleasant bit? I had no idea I'd be continuing the juices during the next two weeks of recovery. It was never mentioned to me, never pointed out during any of this time, and since I was only given 3 bottles of juice, I'm fairly certain I just might run out of formula. This means, I need to cough up another $140 to cover the cost of a 4th bottle. 

Had someone said something at any point during these last 2 weeks that I will be drinking 3 bottles over the span of a MONTH and NOT just during the 2 weeks of fasting, I probably would have been a little more careful about how much juice I was drinking. I'm already paying over $1k for this whole thing ($1200 to be exact), which is definitely why I'm being very careful and thorough with all of this because DAMN IT this better be worth the price tag. But come on, another $140? Ridiculous. 

They had me take a bottle home, just in case, but I'm being careful with my remaining 3rd bottle now and I think I might be able to JUST make it so I'm not going to drink it. However, now I'm thinking of buying that 4th bottle anyway and having my mom try fasting for a week (sans treatments) for the detox. 

So, annoying but not awful. 

I just got a 3 day guest pass at LA fitness to help with the last few days of fasting because I'm just not sweating enough. The one I go to has a sauna so I figured that would help. I was actually trying to sign up for the 2 weeks free but since I was a member there, about 3 years ago, I am not eligible. The gym has revamped and changed a lot since then, so I think this is pretty much the stupidest thing ever, but whatever. I was hoping the 3 days would give me enough time to get used to the gym, feel comfortable there, and I could join but now I don't think so. Yesterday, I didn't get enough juice in me because I had gotten a little swamped at my internship and forgot to sip on it during the day. Then later, the center told me about needing that 4th bottle and me being me, I subconsciously decided to not drink any more for that day. I went to the gym that night and thought I was going to pass out. I was on the stairs for a while, and then working on my shoulders/delts, and feeling a little light headed. I forgot my water bottle so I was just sipping periodically from the water fountain. I went into the sauna and after a few minutes, could feel my head swimming. I thought maybe I was just a little dehydrated so I walked out and drank some more water before sitting in for a little longer. I could tell I wasn't doing so hot, though, so I stepped back out and took a shower. I basically could only rinse myself off and had to put my head between my knees, take a few deep breaths, before I left because I was not feeling great.

I got home, and immediately started to get chills. Trying to put away my sweaty clothes and wet towel were the worst feelings cause anything cold against my skin made my insides feel like they were freezing. I eventually got my teeth brushed and curled up in bed, my electric bed warmer up to high and under 2 blankets. I was pouring sweat but just couldn't stand the cold air... I finally fell asleep and woke up this morning feeling alright. 

Scary.

Besides that, everything was good. I've noticed that smells are much stronger for me, but generally still elicit hunger. I've had a few friends visit me this week, which means going out to eat. I just sip on my juice as they chow down on amazing looking food, but I'm not that tempted to eat it, which is nice. I get a strange, perverse enjoyment from watching other people eat... it's kind of like when I watch people cook on youtube and stuff. It just doesn't feel right if they don't try the food afterwards. I think it just makes me happy when other people enjoy their food- it's why I cooked and baked so often, but never really ate anything. Someone sent me a link about these korean girls who eat gigantic amounts of food over live-chat feeds and basically get paid to do so. I could probably watch them eat all day, and I don't know why : / (look up 

디바 먹방 online). I know, it's weird. Let's move on.

So I have just one more day left on my juice fast. Since I started (measured before pre-diet) and until now, I've lost a total for 13.6lbs (according to my daily measurements). That might not be a lot for some people, but I'm someone who has struggled with losing even a single pound from any diet so this is kind of a miracle for me. My clothes no longer really fit and I need to get my pants all tailored or something after this. My goal is to keep losing the weight for a total of 20lbs so I'm still a few off goal. I'm sure I'll regain some things during the recovery, when I'm getting actual food in me, and even more during the maintenance, when I'm totally off the juice, but I'll just have to work on it. I seriously hope, though, that I keep losing and don't regain anything. Because for reals, this shit is expensive. 

Alright, we'll see how the next 2 weeks of recovery go.

Sincerely,

Sue

this mother effing fast is making me lose my mind

4 more days of fasting left. Last night, I had a dream that I ran out of the juice concentrate and since I wasn't going to starve myself, I convinced myself that I had to eat something. So I stepped out of the train that I was on for some reason, and into a food court and ordered from this giant buffet table of everything delicious. I woke up so I don't know if I actually ate it, but I'm willing to bet that I did.

Since being on this fast, I'm starting to lose cognitive ability. On Monday, I was part of a presentation at my internship that I just wasn't all there for. I would literally forget what I had just said, forget a word that I was trying to use, and just generally off the mark. Thankfully, the lss black belt and the other interns didn't seem to notice, or if they did they were all very kind about it. It didn't seem to inhibit the general presentation either, so thank baby Jesus for that. 

And then yesterday, I went to the gym. I've been going to this free, local community gym at a high school since it seemed kind of silly to pay for a membership when I'm only going to be here for a few more months before school starts in another state. There aren't any free weights, but some pretty solid machines and kettle bells so it's been nice. I decided to work on my arms and realized that my rings were still on my hand, cutting into my fingers. So, I took them off and stuck them in my back pocket with my ipod. 

I finished, stepped out of the gym, and was walking to my car when I pulled my ipod out. I distinctly remember checking my pocket at the point, to make sure my rings didn't fall out with it. They were still there. And then from here, everything with those rings gets hazy. I don't remember taking them out of my pocket, but I grabbed my phone to take a picture of the moon while it was huge and beautiful in the sky. I drove home, took a shower, and spent the night looking at the moon. About 30 minutes before full blood moon, I realize that my rings are not on my fingers and I check my pants. No rings. I bolt downstairs and in the darkness of night, I am frantically searching my car. I see one of my rings on the passenger seat of the car. WHERE IS MY OTHER ONE? MY CLASS RING IS NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. I'm freaking out, pulling apart my car and trying to find this damn ring.

Nada.

Deep breath, I head back inside and take a few more glances at the moon until I fall asleep, trying to assure myself that I'll be able to see better once the sun is up...

Wake up this morning and bolt downstairs, check the car and recruit my dad to help me. Both of us drive back to the high school and check the parking lot, the car again, everything and no ring to be found.

My dad literally tore the flooring out of my car, on the off chance it fell into some weird crevice but nope. It's gone. I can't make heads or tails of this, because my other ring was there on the seat. They were together, I must have set them down together. Why didn't I put them back on my fingers? Why didn't I put them in the cup holder or some place NOT the seat? What is going on?

I have zero ideas why the things I always do did not happen. The only thing that's affecting me right now is this juice fast, so I can only assume I had some sort of mild aneurysm that resulted in this mistake. But for now, I'm calling it a sacrifice to the blood moon and I'm hoping and praying this means I will have forever amazing good fortune and luck in the future... sigh.

I've been freaking out about that ring ever since. I rarely lose things, so to lose something so expensive and so meaningful to me is just... the worst.

Anyway, I went to get some more acupuncture today. More electrical stimulation to my quads and belly, suction cupping on my back thighs, and this rather painful ultrasound or something on my lower back. That didn't last for long, but it was like hot ashes were landing on me. I think maybe the stimulation coupled with the heat lamp was a bad idea, but it didn't last for very long. He also put needles in my face and hands for like less than a minute, and then ended with something called moxa on my head. It literally burned my hair and was super painful. Just one point on the tippy point top of my head, he basically burned me like 3 times in the same spot. They were short, really painful burns and I could smell my hair burning. The pain is pretty quick, though, so once he finished I was fine. Still, weird. Apparently it's supposed to help with the concentration. All I can say is, TOO LATE. 

He told me that with only 4 days remaining, this time is crucial that I sweat more than I've been sweating now. I don't know what to tell him, I've been trying to make myself sweat as much as possible but I get maybe a light sheen at best- no shirt drenching craziness. He says that I should wrap my quads, lower mid section, and upper torso in saram wrap when I run. I understand that this is to make me sweat, but I have a feeling that's going to make me overheat and collapse in a puddle of twitching sadness so I'm going to say yea, sure, and keep doing what I'm doing to get myself to sweat. I think I'm going to try a free week at the gym or something and use the sauna. 

(note: just looked this up, and I know I'll be bombarded by "JOIN NOW!" emails and phone calls but... yolo- http://trylafitness.com/soa#find-nearest-club-section)

I'm down about 10lbs since I started a week ago, I have about 20 more that I'm hoping to lose through this program and ultimately, I want to lose another 20lbs by next year. I say all these things, and yet I can smell meat on the grill from someone's backyard and my stomach won't stop growling... that's another thing. I am constantly hungry. The doc says it's not hunger, it's just me missing the sensation of chewing, but I know hungry and this is hungry. My stomach is constantly growling and feeling too tight/empty and it's not a craving (which I also know too well), it's legitimate hunger that keeps rising its ugly face every 10-15 minutes if I am not constantly sipping on this juice. I feel like my teeth are being worn thin because I'm constantly chewing on a straw that I have in my mouth, sipping on juice. I hate being hungry. I can't wait until this weekend.

Also, my skin is terrible. I'm guessing it's the by-product of a detox, having the gross stuff inside of me pushed towards the surface or something, but I don't have very good skin to begin with and now my face looks like a 13 year old's going through puberty in a cartoon or something. It's damn awful and makes me a little angry.

I am losing the weight, but becoming a pizza faced, always hungry idiot. It's not worth the trade in the short term, but I'm hoping once I get back to my normal life, the weight will stay gone and the skin and brain will return to normal function...

I am a person with a lot of faith. Universe, don't test it. Just let it be.

So until next time (probably the end of the fast)!

Sincerely,

Sue

day 4 of my detox and i'm feeling weird

I got my third treatment today and it was all acupuncture. I used to be deathly frightened of acupuncture. The idea of having someone stick a whole crap load of needles in my like some sort of human pin cushion was not my idea of enjoyable, and the concept of it just freaked me out.

Today, I faced that fear with a vengeance. First, the doc sticks a bunch of needles in my tummy, ankles, and one in each hand (between the pointer and thumb fleshy bit). I basically took a nap since they shine a heat lamp on me to keep me warm and it was nice and comfortable. Then he had me flip onto my belly and put a bunch of needles all over my back. One hurt like a MOTHER F*CKER but he took it out immediately so the pain subsided pretty quickly. This wasn't as comfortable cause my face was squished into the hole, like a massage chair thing... but in kind of felt like that scene in ace ventura... but maybe not so extreme.

The whole thing took about an hour and afterwards, I talked to the doc about a few things:

1. I get the spins whenever I stand up. The world goes dark and little shiny spots appear from a total head rush that takes a few seconds to subside. He said this was normal, just to take it slow.

2. He was the one who mentioned this, actually, but he asked me if I find myself responding just a tad bit too slowly. I did notice this and thought I was just having a senior moment, but more than a few times today, I kept losing track of what was being told to me and forgetting things that I'd done often at the hospital I volunteer at. Apparently this is normal. I don't think it should be, but I'm going to trust him on this one and hope for the best...

3. I need to sweat more. I've been running in the mornings, but find that I don't really sweat when I run. I'm going to swap my running for jump roping and try to get as much of a sweat on as possible. Doc says I should be soaked through by the end of a workout, as part of the detox. This weekend, he said, is especially crucial for sweating. Maybe I'll hit up a sauna.

4. Maybe a little TMI (avert your eyes if you're not a peace corps volunteer or very comfortable talking about poop), but I haven't had a bowel movement all day. This happened during my 5 day juice fast, but the doc says to keep tabs on this and if it's 3 days with no activity, I need to call him. I think I'd rather just take another few ml of milk of magnesium to get things going, but that is what I shall do. Peeing out of my butt is better than nothing.

That's the update for now! I am supposed to be doing a bunch of stuff for my internship, but I can't seem to focus. I blame the juice. Also, I keep looking up recipes online for humitas and aji de gallina and papa rellenas and ceviche and loads of peruvian food, which the doc will probably tell me to avoid but you can only avoid it for so long before you find yourself knee deep in limes and cow hearts and I think I'm drooling.

Oh, as a side note, I weighed myself yesterday morning and then this morning... and I had gained 0.2lbs. It's like nothing, but COME ON. I put nothing but juice in my body, WTF BODY GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER.

The end.
Sincerely,
Sue

and so the tahara detox fast begins

I forgot to mention a story that popped into my head this morning. When I went in for my second treatment, the doctor was applying the suction cups to my tummy and he goes "you have stretch marks." I wasn't really sure what to say to that. "Yes, also the sky is blue." Were we just stating the obvious? He said it as though I had no idea... like I'd look at my body for the first time ever and go, "WHAT! HOW DID THAT GET THERE?" Instead, I told him that yea, I did. I had them, actually, in various parts of my body and got them back when I was 13 or 14, around my growth spurt. His response was, "they don't go away." And again, I kind of just looked at him like, no shit, sherlock. It's not like I see things happening and think "oh well, that's weird" and never think of them again. I've done my research, obsessed over them for a really long time, and have never worn anything revealing because they were a source of oddity that I hated. That, and I'm overweight so there's always that self consciousness. For someone who runs a weight loss and detox clinic, he was stating some seriously obvious stuff. But again, I just said "yup, I know" and that was the end of the conversation. I don't know if he was just making chit chat, but it was a little strange. Still, he's a cool guy so I didn't think too much into that and like I said, it was just something that popped into my head this morning that I thought I would share.

So last night, I took 60ml of milk of magnesium, as prescribed. This morning, said laxative did what it was supposed to do and I will spare you the details, but my bowel was moved to tears... liquid, liquid tears...

Gross.

Anyway, I went to church in the morning, came back, and took out the instructions for what I'm supposed to be doing for the next two weeks. Lo and behold, step one is to take a packet of bifidus as soon as I wake up, and on an empty stomach. A little late on that, but my stomach was empty and so I proceeded to open up the little packet and pop the powder into my mouth. The flavor wasn't unpleasant and I didn't need to drink water or anything to get it down:

  

             

My fast for the next 2 weeks

daily packet of bifidus (probiotics)

So I'm supposed to dilute the juice by adding 60ml of it to 440ml of water. Basically, I take out 60ml of water from a 500ml bottle of water, and then add the 60ml of juice back in. Since funneling this sticky juice thing back into the water bottle was going to be annoying, I just added them into my Hydro Flask (which I ordered a few days ago, and got in the mail last night. I love it already! Definitely look into that if you're interested in getting a large, wide mouth steel water bottle. The color is beautiful, it's perfect for someone who drinks a lot of water, and I'm not worried about water sitting in it for too long cause it's steel and not naughty naughty plastic). My 40oz holds about 2 water bottles worth of this stuff. The doctor told me that I need to drink a minimum of 4 bottles of diluted juice a day but, if I find that I'm lacking energy or feeling hungry, I can drink more. 

 

              

ingredients are pretty amazing...
I can kind of understand now why this
thing is so damn expensive

the bottle of juice comes with a measuring
cup, bifidus, bottle of water,
and my beautiful acai purple hydro flask!

I was crazy hungry this morning, but the feeling subsided when I got home. Still, I made myself a flask of juice and have been trying to slowly sip it throughout the day. I tend to chug liquids but the doc told me that's a no no, so I'm working on it. The flavor isn't bad. It's sweet, like you took the fake cherry apple juice you can buy at the store and diluted it down. There's definitely a very, slight hint of fermented scent/flavor that I can detect but not in a bad way. All in all, I am really happy that this tastes pretty good. We'll see if it actually keeps me from feeling hungry though... especially since I'm not really helping any of this by watching episodes of Epic Meal Time online...

I would be a vegetarian, if not for meat... : /

Since I started the treatments and the pre-diet fast, I have lost 5.2lbs. I measure myself in the mornings, right after using the bathroom, and right before I drink my first glass of water. I'm pretty consistent with the timing of my measurements so it's a very happy me seeing these results. To weigh myself, I use an EatSmart digital scale which is super simple and from my research, appears to be quite accurate. The doctors weigh me whenever I go in, but it's always fully clothed and after lunch so their weight measurements are sort of meh, but I'm more interested in the percentage body fat results so whatever. Plus, it should be decreasing at a fairly proportional rate.

I have my third treatment tomorrow, after my dental appointment.  I've also been oil pulling with coconut oil for a few weeks now, so I wonder if the dentist will mention any changes or differences in my oral health. 

As a side note, my stomach has started growling like crazy as I type this. I'm not hungry, though. It's just being loud... I'm alone in my room so no big deal, but this might get a little embarrassing when I'm at my internships... womp womp. 

Until next time!

Sincerely,

Sue 

day two of pre-fast diet

So I realized that this thing I'm doing is called the Tahara Detox, and it's a whole clinic that devotes itself to eastern medicine weight loss and detox.

Anyway, today was day 2 of the pre-fast diet and my second treatment. The treatments lasted roughly an hour long and consisted of electrical stimulation first to my thighs and then to my tummy. While the machine was working on my legs, another one was suction cupping my stomach. It was like this little cups, imagine large, rounded shot glasses, that were placed on various parts of my tummy and hips, and just vacuuming away. It wasn't uncomfortable, just weird. The electrical stimulation, though, was at first tickling me. I'm a ticklish person, and feeling little jolts on my upper thigh resulted in my trying really really hard not to burst out laughing. After a while, though, the feeling subsided and it was more like someone was jabbing me with a wooden stick just a little too hard to be comfortable. I kept trying to get my leg muscles to relax, only nanoseconds later remembering that the electric shock was making them tense. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but that too subsided. When the thing was wrapped around my tummy, I actually fell asleep for a few minutes.

The hour was up, no needles today, and I drove back home. THE END! I felt no ill side effects and honestly, I kind of liked the feeling of my muscles contracting and relaxing. Although, I was honestly plagued by images of the pithed frogs in Bio 101 that we applied electrical stimulation to, to see their legs jerk around while learning about muscles and reflex and all that. Weird.

I forgot to take pictures of my meals except this one:

4 mandarinas and a ripe banana... banana for scale. and eating.

I had fruit for breakfast (pictured above), as well as some blanched broccoli, tofu, apples, strawberries, and carrots. 

And then for lunch, I basically had the salad from yesterday except no broccoli or cauliflower, but replaced it with a few slices of beets. I had some more apples and strawberries as a snack, got home starving and finished the broccoli and tofu from this morning, and now I'm about to have 4 more of these orangettes. 

The doctor told me that during the fast, I should only drink the juice so I won't be eating my normal vitamin routine (although he said it was fine during the pre-fast and the post-maintenance). I asked him about chia seeds (which I put in my water) and he also said that'd be alright for now, just not during the fast. 

Tomorrow, I run in the SoCal Warrior Dash (so freakin pumped) so hopefully this lack of protein doesn't get in the way. I'm also not going to be taking any Gu or Clif Shot or any energy gels so that'll be something interesting to see. It should be pretty easy, though, so I'm not too concerned.

Until tomorrow, amiguitos <3 div="">

Sincerely,

Sue

day 1 of 3 "pre-diet"

I'm always hungry. Today, I woke up hungry so I ate breakfast:

Left: Tofu and mixed green salad      Right: Half a yellow bell pepper stuffed with assorted veggies and tofu

Then I went to my internship, where only moments later I was crazy hungry again so I had lunch:

Green apple and carrot, broccoli, corn, cucumber, cauliflower, tomato, lettuce salad

It was quite filling, but my lack of protein had my stomach grumbling away only a few hours later. I resisted the temptation to devour any being that crossed my path, a la No-Face in Spirited Away. I managed to get home and eat yet another salad:

4 tiny adorable mandarinas and mixed green salad with strawberries, tofu, cucumber, bell pepper, and tomatoes

Hopefully this will tide me over until tomorrow. In case you're wondering, the doctors have me on a diet for 3 days where I can only eat fruits, vegetables, steamed/boiled fish, and/or steamed/raw tofu. No seasonings, no oils, nothing else. The actual paper they gave me that outlines what the 3 days of pre-fasting diet is composed of, actually includes much more (brown rice, certain soups, etc) but it's not what the doc is prescribing, so I'm following his orders. Part of me thinks he's making me follow a more stringent diet b/c of my earlier criticisms of the practice, but maybe I'm just hungry and not thinking straight. OR MAYBE HE'S TRYING TO SILENCE ME THROUGH STARVATION. No, I'm going to have another mandarin orange. I'll feel better.

In any case, it doesn't say I can't work out or anything and actively encourages a limited amount of cardio so I'm happy.

Besides that, I've been drinking water. I'm usually downing about a gallon of water per day (maybe too much, but it's just how much I drink) but that number has gone down to a few glasses ever since I left my Nalgene on the east coast. I don't have a constant reminder to drink agua and so, I am becoming a wrinkly raisin and dehydrating into hungry oblivion. I ordered a 40oz hydro flask online, though, and have been obsessively tracking its course from PA to CA. It's set to come Saturday so I'm SUPER pumped! My first all steel, beautiful bottle of refreshing H2O. Love it.

That's all for now. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with the doctors to get my acupuncture fix. I'm scheduled for a M, W, F treatment schedule but I might have to change that cause things just got awesome at my internship (long story short, I might be getting my yellow belt certification in LEAN Six Sigma... wooot).

Day 1 down, 30 more to go.

In a whole different direction

Voila! An update!

So from here on out, I should give you a heads up: I will no longer be posting about the Peace Corps. If you want to know more about that, read my old posts and get your fill but I'm back in America, so it's on to USA things!

Which I say, but will now be contradicting entirely. But first, a little background about me:

For the past few months I've been back home, I've been dealing with my weight. Yea, yea- it's old news (a girl concerned about her weight? Boo hoo! Yea well, shut your face.) but having spent a lot of time trying really hard to not eat every potato in Peru, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by healthy food and life choices. It's brilliant.

And yet, my health now and my health a year ago are not at all different. I'm not sick, but I'm overweight. I work out consistently (doing a Warrior Dash this Saturday! Woot!), eat mostly protein with lots of fruits and veggies, partake in refined sugars every once in a while but not to a gluttonous extreme, and drink copious amounts of water. At my last check up, the doctors gave me standing ovations (not really, but I was told that my blood oxygen level was basically perfect so that's something). So what the HELL, body?!

I've always been pretty chubby, ballooned out around high school, and got it under control in college. I've played sports in high school (varsity tennis), college (club rugby), and was a gym rat the year before peace corps. In Peru, I ran an off road half marathon, a few lovely 10kms, and participated in the Guinness World Book of Record's longest raft race down the Amazon for 3 days of paddling a gigantic, unwieldy raft built by hand.

And still, my weight hasn't moved. Not up. Not down. Just chilling like NBD.

So I tried a bunch of diets (military diet, juice detox, banana diet, korean detox juice/soup diet, etc) to no avail. The last hardcore diet diet where I actually lost weight (nearly 20lbs) was during college, but it involved eating only chicken breasts and bell peppers for months, and I was injected with some mysterious concoction that to this day, I have no idea what it was... (maybe that's why my body's so frustratingly stable? New, uber lame super power?). Let's just say, it was probably horrible and yet I was totally willing to give it a try.

Why? You ask... I assume.

Why indeed. Well, to be quite frank, I've never stopped to ask myself that. Mostly because at this point in my life, being overweight and picked on for it is sort of... my norm. If you're not overweight, maybe you can relate to some level through some other visible defect of sorts that the oh so bright children of the future learn to hone in on and pick at with shovels (John Mulaney, anyone?). Plus, I'm Korean.

Now, if you're not Korean, this is also something that might be news. Peruvians aren't that different, I guess. But physical appearances, in the states, are things we don't generally point out in matter of fact ways. Peruvians will greet each other based on physical appearance (hola gordito: hey fatty, que tal flaquita: what's up skinny) but it's generally said with affection, even though a north american might get a bit offended. Koreans do the backhanded compliment. You have no idea how often I hear, "you would be so pretty if you were skinny!" and "lose those last few pounds, and the boys will be all over you!" to which I respond by laughing or smiling and for some reason, thanking them.

It's weird. I know.

But let's be honest, I've been growing up with this forever and it just doesn't bother me anymore, but it's pretty much ingrained into my whole being. When I was younger, I actively fought against it. I was extremely shy, very introverted, and made friends with books and not people because people were the worst. In high school, I joined tennis and started to make friends, grew gregarious and confident, and getting picked on for my weight wasn't happening as much anymore- and when it did, I got really good at fighting back. It's probably why I went into psychology in college- I was really good at finding that one thing someone else was insecure about, and heckling them with a very well placed jab of my sharp tongue. But I ate whatever I wanted and when my mom would once again warn me against eating another slice of bread because tsk tsk that's fattening, I would stare at her and shove 2 pieces in my mouth, because bread is delicious damn it.

In college, I had more control over what I was eating and holy take out, batman- I was loving the food! Brie stuffed french toast, pad thai with shrimp, mushroom calzones, and so much more! I'm a big proponent of everything in moderation, and so that's exactly what I did but every once in a while, I undertook a few eating challenges and I'm pretty proud of how well I was able to keep up (to a point).

Anyway, I went to Peru where my food choices dwindled but I managed to haggle a deal with my host mom so that I'd at least have a serving of vegetables 5 out of 7 days of the week. I got back to the US, tried a few more diets in the past few months and nothing (or I'd lose 2lbs and immediately gain them back the next day if I ate anything different from the prescribed list of foods).

So my mother, who has always pushed me to lose weight (she was and is one of those moms, but now I choose to think it's for my health, and not because she's a crazy korean woman obsessed with weight as much as South Korea as a nation is obsessed with weight and being thin. She probably is, but I love her anyway), she mentioned that someone she knows went to this clinic because she had diabetes and wanted to improve her condition and she lost over 20lbs in a month or so and blah blah blah.

My immediate reaction was, holy CRAP! That's so unhealthy! She's going to yo-yo and it's not going to be good. My second reaction was... I wonder if it'd work for me? I mean, years of evidence have shown that weight loss does not come easy to my body. I am a rock, a stable beacon for mass, the thing by which weight stability is measured by.

So after talking a bit, we decide to check out the clinic together. I go in and am immediately wary. The doctors explain the program, but I had to pull teeth to get the details. It's freakin crazy expensive (like, I could buy a round trip flight to Peru and live there comfortable for another year expensive), so I'm wondering why all of this isn't being told to me. They basically tell me that chances are good I'll lose weight, but there's no guarantee. Basically, they're telling me to drop a load of cash at their feet and have faith. I'm like... what is this, scientology? Hell to the NO. Give me details. After an hour or two of me trying to understand what's being said, how everything is broken down, what the plan and "treatments" are, I excuse them to chat with my mom. We go back and forth and finally I decide- what the heck. I made a bet with my mom that if I could lose 20lbs, she'd buy me a puppy. This way, I'm doing this program that involves 3 months of intermittent acupuncture (to ears, stomach, and apparently legs/ankles), heat lamps, these suction cup things that are hilarious (they suction cup sections of your stomach, hips, and thighs and I think it's to stimulate them but I'm not sure), some sort of scrapping (didn't do this one today, so I'm not sure), 2 weeks of a juice detox where I'll be drinking a diluted fermented juice from the Tahara company, and following up with lots and lots of maintenance where they'll be constantly checking my percentage body fat, weight, bmi, etc.

I've never put too much faith in eastern medicine. I mean, I think a lot of it works but more for maintaining than curing. I don't know why I think that, but I do. And I think the doctors were a little annoyed at me by my constant string of questions (which I refuse to apologize for. I'm shelling out this much cash, the least they can do is answer some damn questions. Plus, don't call yourself a doctor if you're not going to encourage your patients to question and understand.) buuuuuuttt whatever.

So I'll be updating you more on what the heck is going on, what I'm eating, and what my activity is like.

I started today and was given my first (out of 12) treatment of acupuncture to my belly and ankles, and the suction cup things (seriously. I could not stop giggling the entire time these were on me, and burst into laughter when they removed it cause of the sucky sound it made. My mom disapproved of my reaction, but I'm ticklish and it couldn't be helped!)

Starting tomorrow, I begin 3 days of pre-fast, which means I can drink lots of water, eat fruits and vegetables, tofu and fish, but nothing else- no seasoning, no oil, nada nada... I should have asked about seeds. Eh, I'll leave them for now and return to them in another month or so.

The intense part of the program is only a month long, followed by 2 months of check-ins for maintenance. We'll see how this goes and I'll post daily (albeit, probably much shorter passages than this. Sorry for the giant bio!) if you're interested.

Sincerely,
Sue

NOTE: According to the machine that does all the percentage body fat and numbers and things, I apparently should lose 32lbs. However, I was fully clothed in cold weather clothes, and had literally had a meal less than an hour before so this number is questionable. None the less, I'm aiming for it just to see what happens.

one week back in america: is that enough time yet?

SO:

I've been back in america for a week now, and I want to say that's definitely enough time for me to have readjusted. I mean, everyone has their own readjustment period, but I don't really see myself taking any longer to get used to america.

Another child star has gone bat shit insane (ref: Miley Cyrus).
Old white guys still think they know more about girl bodies and than girls do.
California's always got a fire going somewhere. Right now, it's crazy and up in Yosemite.
Fashion is freaky. It's always been freaky. But at the moment, it's exceptionally freaky for dudes. Why are dudes wearing such freaky things? I don't know. It's a thing. But, like twerking, it's pretty dumb and I just have to wait it out.

Is there anything else? I spent 2 years in Peru and coming back to America wasn't that big a deal. I mean, I've heard of RPCVs coming back to discover people now have these new fangled things called cellphones. Like, that would be straight up cray. But I got myself a smart phone. It sucks and I accidentally deleted all my email contacts cause I freaked out by my phone syncing everything without asking me if it was ok. I've decided that there is no such thing as smart phones. There are phones, that make me feel dumb. That doesn't make them smart.

Still, I basically got a hang of that more or less and am really enjoying the swype function. It's fun and fast and everytime I do something weird, I wonder if the function will figure it out. It's surprising when it does, frustrating when it doesn't.

I thought, maybe I'll really miss Peru. But so far? Nothing. I mean, I miss my friends and speaking spanish all the time, of course, but I'm reconnecting with friends here and speaking korean all over the place. I'm debating on what Peruvian dish I should make here to share with my family... but nothing really jumps at me- I just don't really miss anything yet. Maybe it's cause it's only been a week? Part of me feels like I'm on vacation, that any second now I have to go back and get back to work, but another part of me knows for a fact that peace corps life is over and it's time for me to get back into the thick of things.

I've started running again, in preparation for a full marathon sometime next year. I've restarted Insanity cause I never actually finished the program in Peru and part of me is tired of being so unhealthy. My eating is slowly, but surely, calming down. I've had a lot of food that I miss (In n' Out? check. Kimchi? check... slowly but surely, going through the list!) although I can assure that it's not nearly close to being finished, but I don't have those crazed cravings I would have in Peru. I think just knowing that I could have it whenever I feel like it is enough.

What else? I guess the big thing is finding a job. You hear about how awful the economy is, and it's enough to make you consider a 3rd year in the hopes that unemployment rates take another leap down (not because people have given up and are no longer on unemployment, but because people are actually working now). Still, I'm pretty hopeful and ready to start working in a few more weeks.

Basically, I feel like I had an amazing 2 years getting to know a country and myself, and being home just reminds me that I want to keep going with that momentum. I haven't had much of a reverse culture shock, but then again- I never really had much of a culture shock when I got to Peru.

Part of me wonders if I'm dead inside.

But I just really hope that's not true... And really hope that the feelings of hope are actually hope and not simply indifference to it all.

In any case, I'm back in america and 1 week in- I got nothing. Kind of like my trip to Puerto Maldonado. I tried a cup or two of ayahuasca (a hallucinogenic traditional drug used to induce dream states and visions)... all I did was vomit it up, which is totally normal. But I got nothing! Just wasted some cash and was bored/sleepy for a few hours. What a let down. Oh, but my trip to Machu Picchu and Puerto Maldonado as an end and goodbye to my querida Peru were absolutely amazing. Machu Picchu was the first time I traveled by myself and I met some wonderful people on that trip. Plus, you have got to see M.Picchu. So crazy beautiful and mind blowingly built... like, woah. And a trip to P. Maldonado is definitely worth it. Straight up jungle, I went to the reserve on a day hike and saw a gajillion birds and creatures- and even endangered giant sea otter!! Plus night time cayman watching was a blast.

What an amazing trip. Hoping that America's got some stuff to dish up in comparison but right now, just chilling and eating my way through everything is kind of amazeballs.

Basically, everything is awesome and I highly encourage you to call me on my new stupid smart phone and say hi. Next weekend, I'm going up to San Francisco cause my lil brosef has his white coat ceremony. So proud.

Sincerely,
Sue

t-minus 6 days: guys, i'm almost done with peace corps. OHMGODHOWDIDTHISHAPPEN.

So.

4 days until I leave site.

6 days until I officially COS (Close Of Service).

27 days until I go back to the US, after more than 2 years of being away.

Part of me is saying, maybe this is too much. Maybe stay a bit longer? Maybe just throw away all this shit you've collected for 2 years and somehow, can't seem to figure out what you need to pick and what you need to give up. Maybe I can't do this. Maybe I want to stay in Peru forever. Maybe there's nothing for me in the states. Maybe all these maybes will kill me.

The other part of me has already packed her bags and returned home.

I really don't know what to do with myself. I know I have 4 more days in site. My calendar, with its days meticulously X'd out, tell me it's soon. But it's like I'm still in denial. I still have to talk to my socia on Tuesday. I still have a radio program I need to write up and get ready for tomorrow. I have a final despedida with the municipality workers. The newbies (21ers) are coming in this monday, so I'll be going to meet them and say hello briefly. My replacement's coming on Tuesday, and I'll see her then. There's still so much to do, so obviously things aren't over... right?

Wrong.

Ugh. I'll get there. I'll get to that point where I realize, I seriously need to pack all this shit away and just forget the rest- give it to my host family, my socios, the beneficencia, anyone. I need to figure out what I need for the 1.5 weeks I'm taking to see Macchu Picchu and Madre de Dios. I need to remember to take my malaria pills.

But I think I'm also focusing on all these things because otherwise, I'd just cry. Cry and cry and cry. It upsets me that I know I'm not going to be able to say goodbye to everyone, no matter how much I try. For whatever reason, things don't always turn out the way I want them to. Gotta roll with it, ya know?

Sigh.

Don't even want to write right now. Gotta finish this radio thing. Gotta pack at least one suitcase. I really need to get my life moving... hopefully forward.

Talk later when my head is in a better place.

Peace.

T-minus 29 days: things are getting freaky

Hola amigitos,

Ok, so nothing much beyond the norm has been happening in these last few days. Oh, except, you know, saying goodbye to all my friends because they're leaving Peru to go off on their next adventures and I'm still here, trying to frantically finish up my projects, grants, and saying goodbye.

Ugh, saying goodbye is the worst. I mean, we're all leaving and some are going to travel for a bit (some of my friends are going on this amazing trip to Columbia, followed by a sailing trip to Panama and I, for reasons unknown.... kinda, there are good reasons but sometimes I forget... I am not going with them. SAD FACE.) and other are heading back to the states to be with family, friends, and significant others but we're all going to be so much further apart than before.

I mean, when we finished training in Chosica, it felt like I had something in my eye for days. Like a stick. Or a sharp rock. Whatever it was, it was constant tears. And that was when I knew I would be seeing them periodically, or at least it was within my power to easily go visit if I really felt the urge.. Now? I don't know. We'll be in the same country soon enough, but the US is way bigger than Peru.

This basically means I need to plan a road trip to visit as many states as possible, and a year in reunion with my 17ers and la lib favorites.

This also means me lying awake all night, the insomnia having returned, and bolting awake again once I've managed to catch a few hours, with a mild heart attack and literally saying out loud things like "WHY DO I OWN SO MUCH STUFF?" and "THIS WAS A MISTAKE" and "GAAAAAAAAAAAAH."

The end of Peace Corps is really the definition of bittersweet. There's a sadness underlying every day, a sadness underneath a constant denial of what's happening, interrupted by surges of panic. It's terrifying. Especially since on top of all these, like the cream and cherry on top, is me attempting to enjoy every single last second of it.

How messed up is that?

On the other side, I'm so excited to go. I'm like head over heels, puppy dog tail wagging kind of happy every time I think about going to machu picchu and puerto maldonado after COS, going home, getting to be with my family after 2 years of being in another country, starting a life with a job and moving towards a career, and even dating again (and although many PCVs will shake their heads no, I'm a big fan of some Peruvian men- the tall, dark, and handsomes who whisper sweet nothings in Spanish? Sweet nothings that I now understand? Yea. But all fun and no work's gotta end soon, right?)

I still have over a month left in Peru, and until August- it's going to be a series of Chaufas and Te quiero muchos and photographs galore.

Fun fact: Did I ever tell you about that time I lost my camera in Puno? Yea. Not sure if it was stolen or lost, but in any case I reported it. Considering the few months I had left in Peru, I just didn't think it was worth buying another digi cam, especially since another thing I'm really looking forward to in the states is getting me an iphone or some sort of scary smartphone with a small human named Siri locked inside. So instead, I've invested in a series of disposable DIGITAL cameras. Isn't that crazy? We're so technologically up there that we now have digital cameras... that you THROW AWAY after using.

Insane.

Oh! Besides my random musings, I wanted to tell you about the 10k I ran last Sunday. The International pacasmayo marathon is basically and off road masterpiece. It was started by a PCV like 6 years ago and has been going on strong ever since. I think slowly, but surely, it's gaining a foothold in the running world as a pretty intense and fun course to run. Although it's small, it definitely packs a wallop. Last year I ran a half marathon- my very first race ever- and like died.

I was definitely not prepared for the hills, the rocks and dirt, and the sun/wind combo. But you know what? I finished, and that's what counts! Still, my knees were seizing up just thinking about another half this year so I decided to do the 10k. Sadly, not having the motivation I did while training (badly, I might add... my training for the 21k was better suited to run a 10k but whatever) for the half so I basically did zero training for the 10k. I just figured, I'll run it. I'll finish it. I won't do well, but there we go.

I was right. I was aiming for an hour for the 10k but boy oh boy did I underestimate those hills and rocks again. Thankfully, not too much sun or wind this year around but I only managed to finish the 10k in 1hr 8min... But you know what was great? The PCVs who participated. We stayed until the last pcv came in (running the full marathon on some pretty damaged knees) and then we partied afterwards. Last year was intense, but this year was super chill. We made hot wings (sriracha honey hot wings, and tabasco sauce hot wings) and cauliflower for the vegetarians, sweet potato fries, and the beer flowed gently. There was music and singing, ping pong, and wonderful conversation as giant dogs in the hostel gently passed out on top of everyone.

Definitely a day to remember, and a solid last hurrah with other PCVs. The day afterwards, some of my favorites accompanied me to my Pasos Adelante class, where we had one PCV play his guitar and sing the ABCs of Prevention song in front of the school, and then went to my women's nutrition course where we made some plate lickingly delicious gluten free apple crisps!

God. I'm seriously going to miss these guys. And nothing in this 'verse is gonna stop me from seeing them stateside.

So that's all for now. At the mo, I'm waiting to hear back from the TEFL ppl so I can get my password and username, and take my exam to become TEFL certified. Why am I doing this, when I actually have no desire to ever teach english as a second language? I honestly don't know. Peer pressure. Everyone else was doing it, so I got on board. I actually even begged Peace Corps to please please please let me slide into this group's cause I originally forgot to sign up on time. Now, I don't know why I wasted a couple hundred bucks on this.

I'm an idiot. But I'm doing it anyway!

So now I'm eating snacks that I bought to push me through the exam, even though I have no idea when they'll respond and give me my password and things.. hopefully soon : /

I'll try to keep you posted as my days dwindle down... Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boooooy.

Peace and Love
Sincerely,
Sue.

T-minus 58 days: Holy Crap, Where Did 2 Years Go?

Hey Friend,

Sorry I haven't written in so long, but I've been having an existential crisis and wasn't really sure what to do about it.

So basically, what's up is that I have officially decided my COS (Close Of Service) date and woah, it's coming up fast. August 9th is my final, official, ultimate day as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Peru, group 17. After 2 years of struggling, achieving, and overall just being, it's all coming to a close and womp womp womp.

But hey, it won't be ending without a bit of hullaballoo. I'll be having a few despedidas (and maybe finally get a chance to have some lizard ceviche!) and visiting Cusco and Madre de Dios before I get on a plane on Aug. 20th to fly back to the states with my little brother, who'll be flying back the same day and starting med school like less than a week later. Crazy kid.

In any case, what am I doing right now? Follow me through the rabbit hole that is my life.

Right now, I'm teaching about 80 or so kids at one of the schools on the theme of Sex Ed. It's super fun and a lot of these kids are fast becoming some of my favorite people ever. Sucks that I don't have much time left with them, but hopefully they learn a little something and don't get pregnant or impregnate anyone until they're ready... Still, we're going to do some fun things. Right now, I'm trying to get the kids organized to make a small music video to the song "Piensa Bien" and we just got funds secured to broadcast said music video on the tv! Yay!

Secondly, I'm still teaching my women's nutrition course and that's basically my most favorite project ever. I love these women and I'm really hoping that we start working to raise some money for them soon with a little mini business project selling healthy food and snacks at the fair, and the market. It should be interesting and we'll see how this little business venture goes down.

Third, I'm teaching Critical Thinking and Creativity with a group of kids that I used to teach English to. Turns out, they really don't want to learn English, they just want to have fun so now I'm taking that want to just hang out and do things, and making it educational! There's a story time, lots of little art projects, and cool "change your point of view" exercises.

Fourth, I'm working with that municipality recognized youth council I was working with the muni on and now that's it's all official and what not, I really want them to actually DO SOMETHING in the community. They've had like 3 meetings and literally, have done nothing. It's driving me crazy. I'm going to do my best for the next 2 months to work with the junta and drill the importance of volunteerism into their heads. Hopefully do a few projects while that's going on with them as well.

Fifth, I have a radio program once a week with another volunteer in Pacasmayo, during which we alternate talks about either youth development things (self esteem, volunteerism, health, etc.) or environmental things (not burning trash, climate change, desertificación, etc.). It's been a pretty interesting experience, and the fact that I get to play music I like is kind of a huge bonus. I have no idea how well this project is going, since I can't figure out how to measure listeners and stuff with my target audience- youth- but from what I hear via word of mouth, people seem to be enjoying it.

Sixth, and finally, I'm working with tourism groups in my site, including an english class to help them produce grammatically correct promotions for tourism. Since the Pacasmayo race is coming up, and I just got contact info for a tour company called keteka that focuses specifically on peace corps volunteers and offering people a more authentic view of countries (i.e. if you come to peru and only see machu picchu, you honestly have no clue what peruvian culture actually is...), I think this will be interesting in as far as I can be a part of it.

So yea, just a small update. More than anything, I'm really excited about my projects and really sad that I know I'm going to have to end them soon and hope for the best that some of them will continue, or at least that my students will have learned something in the end and will be able to make better decisions in the future. Getting on the plane and saying goodbye to Peru, hello to the States is probably going to be one of the most emotionally tough experiences I'm going to have.

I've been thinking of a lot of things about the states, lately, trying to get myself super pumped about the trip back. Family, friends, food, and the luxuries that come from being an american, but I don't know. I love my family and friends here, peruvian food is pretty amazing, and the luxuries of the states seems so stupid, extravagant and excessive now. I know I've changed and I'm really hoping these changes don't result in me judging american life too harshly.

Probably going to happen anyway. I'm already judging you on facebook. I know, I'm sorry, I just can't help it! First world problems are really annoying. At some point I'll probably get used to it again. Do I want to get used to it, though? I don't know, but chances are I will- I realize that I've gotten pretty good at adapting to different places, and quickly. Like, I'm looking forward to a smart phone. I remember when those phones just started to come out. I hated them. Actually, I hate most touch screen things. They freak me out- if that screen breaks (and look at just how many ppl walk around with broken screen touch things), then what? I mean before, it was like your screen broke? Oh well, you can still punch in numbers and use it until it's totally done for. Now it's like, your screen broke? SUCKS FOR YOU GO GET A NEW ONE. And you'd think the fact that the screen is like EVERYTHING now, they'd be indestructible or something but NO, they're just as cheap and flimsy as before.

It makes no sense.

But food, right? Food is something everyone looks forward to. Hell, I've already planned out my first month of meals. But now... well, I'm not really looking forward to it anymore. In Peru, most families eat the same thing day, after day, after day. Chicken. Rice. Potatoes. Soup. That's pretty much standard fair and I remember at first, the lack of diversity made me want to die. Eating the same thing more than 2 days in a row basically made me insane. Now? I don't mind it. I get a plate of chicken, rice, potatoes and you know what I do? I eat it.

When I go to Lima or Trujillo and splurge on different food, american food that's all covered in cheese and meat and sauces and stuff, it's super delicious- sure, I'll give you that. It also means my stomach gets all rumbly and unhappy for the next day or two. American food is too rich. It seriously messes up my stomach. Is this what I'm going to have to look forward to in the states? Eating delicious food, and then curling up into a ball and dealing with the stress to my gastronomical system afterwards?

Not. Cool.

SIGH. So much conflict. Should I have stayed another year? My projects are going so well and there's still so much I want to do here. What if there's nothing for me in the states? Do I want to struggle with America and its culture? Will I ever make money again? What if I get to the states, and all I want to do is leave it again? WHAT DO I DO.

Basically, I guess it's just another point in my life where I'm taking another giant leap of faith, both feet in, eyes close, and hoping that there's a bottom somewhere, and that it's solid.

Fifty eight days, guys, till I'm done. Fifty eight days left in site to inspire, push, pull, wait patiently, and get shit done. Fifty eight days left with what I've now adapted as normal. Fifty eight days.

I got this.

day 651: holy smokes, long time no blog

Hello boys and girls,

So after my epic blog about spending New Year's in Ecuador (again... best NYE I've ever experienced in my life. I highly suggest it to everyone on earth.), I dropped the ball and haven't posted for what... like 2 months now?

My bad.

In any case, nothing that spectacular has happened since then. My legs are destroyed from the mosquitoes, it's been rainier than ever before (like... floody), and I'm swamped with projects! Thankfully, my "creativity and critical thinking" and my english classes won't be starting until April, but my women's nutrition class is getting pretty fun (I think I'll be including an extra class to be taught in another pueblito next month) and I've been working on camp things!

Speaking of camp, we just had an english camp called Camp ACCESS last weekend and it was so much fun! The embassy gave El Cultural (english learning center) some money to pull of this camp and with the full force of a PCV here in la lib, it was a total success! Lots of US culture, speaking english, american food (peanut butter. nutella. freakin amazing), along with the theme of healthy living. It was super fun and I'm really glad I got the chance to participate :)

I'm working on our own Camp ALMA right now, which is a PC all girls youth camp that we're hoping to pull off in June. It should be fun, and a total headache, but worth it for the experience these girls get to have regarding their health, education, and futures!

Excited.

What else... oh! So there is a PCV living in Pacasmayo, which is just a few minutes out of my town. We've been working on a radio program that gets broadcasted every wednesday. It's tons of fun and I'm really liking the little bit of fame I've been accruing. Not gonna lie, I like being known. It's a weird conflict between my enjoyment of fame and my intense privacy... weird.

But whatever, I'm a weird person and I've always been. I accept this and my life moves on.

In other news, next week is holy week (semana santa) and I'll be travelling to Arequipa/Puno to see the colca canyons and lake titicaca! Really excited about that and it'll be my longest vacation yet (2 whole weeks!). I'm worried that being out of site for so long will be what finally convinces my neighbors and site friends that I've left for america for good. It's like, every time someone sees me with a backpack, they ask me if I'm leaving forever.

I swear, I'm just going to the municipality. I'm on my bike for goodness sakes... do you think I can bike to California?? Cause if you do... thank you.... I'm super out of shape but it's nice to know that people think I can still do crazy fit things!

Alright, I'm being a nuisance in the muni right now. There's a meeting going on and I'm just sitting here, using the internet for no reason... Technically I'm finished with the internet work I need to get done today but... I just really like being connected.

Tragic what this world of internet is turning me into. Zombies, like in The Walking Dead... but not as scary. Those zombies are freaky. Also, that show is AMAZING and I can't stop watching it.

Love and Peace (until next time... I swear, I'll try to post again sooner!)
Sincerely,
Sue

day 587: first update of the new year!

Hey boys and girls,

Sorry for this super late update. How've you been? Get through the "end of the world according to that mayan calendar no one seems to actually understand but agrees the 21st is the end of the end" day alright? Yea, me too. How were your holidays? Happy, I hope. Me? Yea, it was pretty great.

So if you remember from my last blog in regards to Christmas... actually, I don't remember if I wrote one. I hope I did. Anyway, on the chance that I wrote one, I would have mentioned that most of Peru is Catholic and therefore, Christmas is celebrated by everyone. There is none of this politically correct happy holidays/christmahannukwanzaka/whatever that happens in the states. It's Merry Christmas, dash it all, and happy new year cause Jesus loves you and God is watching.

But the thing is, Christmas is celebrate as soon as it's Christmas. That is, as the clock strikes 12. Christmas Eve, or "la noche buena," is when all the festivities take place. Not many but a few houses have some lights strung up, a few green and red randoms strung, some may have decorated xmas trees, and there's usually a nativity scene either in the house or set up outside in the street. The plaza de armas usually has lights and xmas trees, many of which are themed for the industries that donated them (last year, tons of "pitufos" or smurfs because it was a thing), and many a vuelta are walked around to admire them.

You eat panettonne for like a month and wash it down with hot chocolate, and the night of noche buena is no different. However, one thing you are most likely to have as your meal this night is turkey. In my house, for example, nothing happened all day. It was a day like any other and I'm thinking, "well, guess this is all. Perhaps I shall prepare myself for a night of rest" when my host mom comes a knocking at my door and declares, "Suzi! Vamanos!" When I ask where in the world we're going at 10pm, she tells me that the noche buena dinner will be happening at my host dad's sister's house. Naturally, she informs me of all this 15 minutes before everyone is telling me they shall be leaving. Given the hora peruana (peruvian hour), I know I have roughly an hour to prepare myself.

So we finally set off around 11pm and walk over a whiles away to the house of my host aunt. We bring a panettonne gift and as soon as we walk in, it's a series of greetings and talking and surprise at the korean girl who is now part of the family (I've never met this aunt before, but this is fairly normal- I don't know how many family members I have, and even my host siblings are often surprised to discover that so and so is actually a cousin... family relations in a small town are pretty interesting).

The table is being prepared, stories are being swapped, the women are bustling around in the kitchen (fun fact, there were only 3 males in the entire house- my host day, my little host brother, and my host cousin... the rest just all happened to be female), and the rest of us are pouring wine into little cups when my host cousin shouts, "Dios mio! Está la hora!" Turns out, in the bustle and confusion of it all, we lost track of time and it was 2 minutes until midnight.

Hurriedly, those little wine shots are passed around, words are given and the toast is made. Everyone wishes everyone good health, the wine is tossed back and everyone hugs everyone. Phone calls and text messages are made and received, wishing friends and families the happiest of christmases, and turkey and rice are served with pannettone and hot chocolate.

Host dad hugs little host brother at midnight.

Pavo a la brasa- delicious

The fam by the end of the night

The night ends, we mosey on back home, stuffed and getting chillier as the night goes on, to snuggle back under the covers and sleep until the morning.

On Xmas day, the day goes back to normal and at this point, I am on full vacation mode. My bags have been packed and I'm ready to leave site to head for a week in Ecuador with wonderful friends. Before then, though, I have to figure out how to get to another PCV's site up in Lambayeque. Along the way, I'm muling a suitcase of things for another volunteer to gift to another volunteer in Chiclayo. Many problems arise, predominately with transportation, and by the end, I am cranky as all hell.

Nonetheless, I finally make it to my friend's site and we spend a wonderful few hours making gluten free treats and later, walking her "this dogs needs to be mine but it's my host uncle's or something's" dog. Super cute.

Gluten free no bake cookies!

Rodgers and some gluten free spiced marshmallow coated popcorn.
Will be making more of this cause omg, so delicious...

PITER! awwwww...

We pack up the snacks, say goodbye to super cute Piter, and head to Chiclayo to meet up with the rest and head on to Ecuador.

So Ecuador... well, let's just say- if you are ever wondering about where to celebrate New Year's Eve, I ask that you seriously consider Ecuador.

First night with all the girls together, we had dinner at Cafe "Dios no muere" (God doesn't die) that was this great Ecuadorian/New Orleans mix restaurant. Sadly, restaurants in Quito seem to only make a very specific amount of food in a day and if you show up during regular dinner hours (aka, anytime after 7pm), most of the food is gone. It's seriously annoying but whaddyagonna do.

Rodger's boo finally flies into Quito and the love birds are reunited. This means that all of us are now together in Ecuador and the adventure truly begins!

We took a bus from Chiclayo to Guayaquil and a plane from Guayaquil to Quito. Here are those of us who took the bus  at the Guayaquil airport, which, by the way, has some seriously delicious smoothies.

In Guayaquil, we climbed up the "Punto Cerro" and got a great view of the city.
There's not much to do in Guayaquil, but  still, very pretty.

The Malecon 2000 in Guayaquil is a nice little walk and there are lizards all up in the trees.
There's a specific lizard park, but we didn't make it there. We head to the airport and set off for Quito!

The hostal we stayed at. It was a fairly decent hostal, close to Calle La Ronda where all there restaurants and stuff were but we had a small incident here when the worker woke us up at 1 in the morning to tell a bunch of the girls they had to get out of the room because another group was coming in. Turned out to be a huge misunderstanding (aka the hostal f'ed up and was a huge annoyance) but they gave us a 10% discount and were eventually forgiven for the mistake. Sort of.

We spend the next morning in Otavalo at a giant market

Then in the afternoon, we head to... I forget what this is called but it carried us to the top of the hill to get a nice view of Quito!

Then we head to Calle LaRonda where chocolate covered strawberries are sold by the street for $1. Let this be known: this will become my favorite thing in Quito, although it was always a hit and a miss when this damn store would ever be open!

Mexican food in Plaza Foche for dinner 

We end our days in Quito (to return later) and head off to adventure land in Baños where the first  thing we see is...  Taffy Pulling. Awesome.

After settling into the hostal, we go for a hike to the Bellavista.

Group pic at the beginning of the hike :)

Group pic at the end! :D

The adventure continues with some fast, fun, bike riding. There was also waterfall rappelling and white water rafting, none of which I have pictures of because they involve water and that ain't touching my digital camera!

Deedee and I stray from the group to go paragliding

A few of us also decide to go ziplining. Seriously, baños was great!

There's this seed in the jungle called tagua, known as the vegetal ivory of the world, that is used to make fun things like this! Just a fun fact.

Ok, here's why Baños/Ecuador is so great during new year's eve. Basically, guys dress up as either widows mourning the death of old year, or more likely, prostitutes celebrating the birth of new year. Then they build makeshift stops on the street and more or less harass drivers for treats/money if they want to pass. It's like halloween but way funnier and crazy!

After Baños, we head back to Quito so that Gato and B can head back to Lima while the rest of us continue on our adventures. We had a bit of time to visit the Basilica.

It was quite beautiful and nice and high up.

The really pretty stained glass, although some of it was missing (it's old, what can you say)

This window made Rodgers kind of nervous... but you could press right up against it and it felt like you were hovering on the edge of Quito.

We visited the Mitad del Mundo (Equator line), although there were 2- the first, big, touristy fake one (shown here) and a smaller but GPS correct cooler one (that we didn't go to because after not sleeping through NYE, the idea of listening to someone talk for 45 min made me want to die)

We made our way the next day to Quilotoa, where there's a beautiful blue lake that is actually an active volcano- it lies under the water and you can see bubbles rising up from it. It's also seriously cold here.

Finally, we head to Cuenca- a beautiful city with very old architecture and a super relaxing atmosphere.

As usual, we head into a church somewhere and began to play with the wax of the candles left. It was fun.

We also found this great "modern art" museum that had the weirdest stuff. This is just an example.

Finally we grabbed some delicious ice cream (Thank Justin, for the treat!) and made our way back to the bus to head back to Perú and home... Ecuador gets two thumbs up!

So, that was my Xmas and New Years in Ecuador! It was basically a giant blast and I had some serious fun, even though I did get pretty hangry sometimes and I thank the dear lord that my friends were patient with me. I don't know what the rest of my year will bring and I've worked on a few resolutions, but I know my time here is coming to a close much too quickly! More about my life now to be posted soon. It's nearly noon and time to get ready for lunch! 

Love you all, and peace on earth

Sincerely,

Sue