world just turned upside down

i have been waiting for the peacecorps to get back to me for a few months now. i was nominated to leave in february as a member of a health and water sanitation group in central/south america. i was ecstatic and on edge the past few months, since i didn't hear back from them for the longest time. then i received an email from a placement officer who asked me for a skills addendum to quantify my experience in construction. i responded, i have none.

a month passed. no words.

i finally freak out and can't take the month long wait anymore, so i shoot a quick email asking what's up.

i received a response today.

apparently, i was not qualified for the position i had been nominated for (i needed 3 months of construction experience, but i have none). this made me wonder a few things.

1. why was i nominated for a position i was blatantly unqualified for, right off the bat?

2. why did it take a month after i specifically told them that i do not have that experience for them to tell me i was not qualified?

3. why did it take ME to ask what's up before getting a response that i was unqualified?

4. why did i sit around for months, waiting and hoping for something that i was never going to get?

5. what the hell am i going to do now?

there is a position i am qualified for that is being offered to me with an official invite- teaching science in francophone sub-saharan africa. i would freaking love to take this invite and go full steam ahead with it. except for one thing.

it's in june.

do i wait another 6 months after 6 months of waiting for this job? is it going to be worth the 6 months of my parents yelling and nagging at me that i shouldn't, nay, that i can't do this? is it going to be worth the extra 7 months, 2 years of putting aside my ultimate career goal of attaining an MHA and working at a hospital? i don't know. i really don't.

if i were being offered this change in location and job description, but still set to leave in feb, i would have accepted without a doubt. but june? what do i do while i wait around? i will have done nothing for a year. is it going to be worth it? i don't know. i really don't. i'm being torn in half by these decisions that are going to change my life forever.

i've done every single thing the peacecorps has asked me to do. for nothing. do i deal with the mistake they made, suffer for their error by holding off my life for another 6 months? is that fair? or do i suck it up and make the decision to put a 3 year hold on my life and join because the peacecorps is honestly something that i truly want to do?

do i take the leap of faith and hope the next 3 years are going to be worth it in the end?

or do i scrap my life plans altogether and try to come up with something new?

i'm stuck. the decision is for me to choose between two equally vexing, difficult and life changing choices.

why is this happening right now? all i wanted for my birthday, for christmas, for graduation, for everything up to this point was to get into the PC and leave in feb. so why am i being tested? is this necessary? i don't think it is. i think someone's toying with me right now. and i honestly do not appreciate it.