friendship is weird.

one of my biggest pet peeves is when people don't follow through.

so when i'm really excited about plans to meet, especially after they were confirmed a week in advance, and send a quick text to remind a friend that we're meeting up that day and that i'll be there to pick them up later... the last thing in the world i want is a text back that reads "i can't go."

really? so during that entire week, those seven days,the one hundred sixty eight hours, in any one of those ten thousand eighty minutes, you didn't think of shooting me a quick text with that exact message? you had to wait not only the day of, but AFTER i messaged you about it? seriously? god, it makes me want to be your friend just that much less.

honestly. i love you, but i don't like you very much.

and this isn't even a first time occurrence. it's actually probably going to be my last attempt to ever try to meet up with you. i'm so sick and tired of friends who just fail following through these plans. at least come up with a better excuse. tell me something that makes it okay for you to skip out on this plan to meet? otherwise, it just feels like you don't want to see me and if that's the case, then stop agreeing to meet up. we can stop being friends, it might make me feel a little better if we weren't friends anymore. being friends means i work pretty hard to keep in touch, know how you're doing and trying to tune into those times when you might need me. not being friends means i can just stop giving a crap about anything that goes on in your life.

i can only go 50% in the friendship, you need to provide the other half. right now, i'm pulling about 78% and i don't think i should be hauling an extra 28% for no reason. it's getting to be tiring, and frankly i'm starting to resent you for it.

so we'll still be friends, but i'm cutting myself to the 10% acquaintance level until you figure yourself out. if you don't think our friendship is worth it, fine. let me know, i'll gladly reallocate that 10% to someone new.

i guess this makes it less of a pet peeve and more of a deal breaker. i need to find a friend who can come through in even the little things. but i'm starting to get really frustrated as so far, most of the people i know have yet been able to reach even that basic skill of "keeping your word" and to be honest, it's just easier not being friends with anyone.

i'm tired. i'm leaning heavily to the easier side. i can learn to live as a hermit. stupid cat videos on youtube will be my only friend. cause that crap is never gonna die.