Thursday, August 16, 2012

day 434: it's a palindrome! also, work. it got nuts.

SUP FRIENDS!

Feeling way better than I was that other day. See? I just need a few days for the glums to go away~

I don't actually have much time to be writing this, but that's exactly what I wanted to write about: WHEN DID ALL THIS WORK HAPPEN???

A few months ago, my days were pretty lax and pretty much crazy boring. My nutrition class fell through when the grant got pushed back a few months, my english classes were still there but student numbers were down to like 4 people. The Family/Sexual violence committees were doing their own work plans so it was just a matter of waiting for them to finish, and my youth group was on vacation. I had literally nothing to do, so I went to Trujillo and sat at a café for hours, I did my nails, cleaned my room a lot, watched 2 seasons of The Wire, read a bit more of Game of Thrones, finished another book called "why do men have nipples" (don't ask... but interesting), and sat in bed. A lot.

Well, dear friends, all that is done and over with. I'm working on the nutrition grant due the end of this month, I have a sex ed group about to start in Pacasmayo, my VA.y.A. youth group is clamoring to meet, I have an english nutrition program that needs to be completed within the next month, I'm working with a lady to get an escuela de padres formed and running in one of the schools so we're working on getting money from local organizations and the municipality, I'm researching gardening/how to create your own garden to convert my english kids into an environmental awareness group, I just got a call from a lady who lives in CHEPEN who wants to work with me to work on how to get a bunch of rowdy delinquents in line (no idea how this one will play out, but we'll see), and the family/sexual violence group is starting to make moves next week.

DEAR LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH AND THE ABILITY TO CONCENTRATE.

My head is hurting just writing all this down.

On top of all this, I gotta get work DONE before I head into Lima in 3 days for a week of med checks and training and getting to see allllll my lovely 17er youthies < 3 and I'll be leading some short training sessions for PSN while I'm there

Plus I'm running a 10k on the Sunday right before I head back to site.

I feel like sometimes I don't make good decisions, even though those decisions are for good things. But all this busy'll pass, like it or not, and my ride on the PC ride continues.

That's all for now! Gotta go eat something before I burn out, go teach my english class, review 2 documents to turn into 2 municipalities and a cement factory, and finish up year one of the nutrition document. EEP!

Vamanos Amigos!
With Peace and Love~

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

day 432: and boom, depression. wtf.

Friends, family, strangers,

I'm not feeling so great.
No, no, no, I haven't yet been invited to the world of parasites and gastrointestinal discomforts as my other volunteer friends have (we're hoping for a parasite of some kind though, preferably one I pick up in the jungle that no one knows about and it gives me super powers so I can fly, or become invisible, or read minds, or be able to regenerate, or become alex mack).

Alas, I'm just feeling regular down in the dumps, only the issue here is that I don't know why. Do you ever get that weird feeling? Like somehow, you just realize that no one in the world likes you. All your supposed friends actually don't care about you and are just being polite, dealing with your presence and wishing you'd just leave them alone.

I don't know. I just get this feeling, sometimes, when I'm talking to people, that they really don't want to be talking to me. I feel like a waste of space.

It's a horrid feeling. I wish it'd go away. But I'm afflicted by this emotion every few months. Back in the states, when this happened, I'd do something to get my mind off of it:

1. Bake or cook. You can't really think of things when you're trying to get a recipe right or trying to decide on whether adding slivered almonds would make a dish tastier or disgusting. Plus, you get to eat afterwards.

2. Hit the gym. Blast music on my ipod and workout so hard, I'm sweating into my eyes and I can't think of anything but how much I hurt/will hurt later.

3. Mall. Retail therapy is fun, but just looking at stuff in the mall, trying things on without any intent to buy, perusing electronics and silly gadgets, all with a smoothie or an iced coffee in hand is probably one of those cures for all maladies.

4. Drugs. No, I'm not talking about doing crack cocaine or heroine, but going to the store and picking out a nice pinot noir or trying a new german riesling I haven't had before, and just curling up with a book and a glass or 3 is nice. Sitting on a porch in the middle of winter with a mug of spiked hot chocolate or irish coffee and a cigarette. Having a cold IPA while sun bathing on the roof, my ipod blasting something fun- amazing.

5. Hanging out with friends. Being around the people I was convinced didn't like me, only to find out that actually, they're pretty pleased to be hanging with me was the best way to cure these little mini episodes of blah.

I CAN'T DO ANY OF THESE THINGS IN MY SITE! Probably explains why I'm feeling so glum. It doesn't help that it feels like so many people are leaving me. Of course, it's not personal, but I can't help but still be sad by it.

Bah. The roller coaster that is my emotions in Peace Corps continues. I don't know when I'm going to get off this ride. I'm going to go and try and make a box of mac and cheese, and then eat it all. Maybe I'll feel better then.

Maybe.

Peace and love.
< 3

p.s. next week marks my official 1 year in site! I'll be heading to Lima for our yearly med checks plus another few days of training, and possibly will be running a 10k if I can figure out how to get my registration form and money to the office in time. We'll see.

Friday, August 10, 2012

day 428: travel broadens the mind, so they say


HELLO FRIENDS

So it's been a while, my bad. Last time I wrote was in regards to a quinceñera where I died and then woke up a few hours later to find I had spent the morning passed out. It was alright, considering everyone I knew was either teenaged or a parent. Still, got into some drinking circles and sat around and chatted. It was fun.

What I want to talk about right now, though, is my trip during Fiestas Patrias here in Peru.
What is Fiestas Patrias? All I can tell you for sure is that it's like the biggest mother effin holiday in Peru celebrating its Independence.  But imagine your thanksgiving, independence day, christmas, and new years rolled up and shoved into the span of a few days (well, more like 2 weeks in my site). Seriously. Intense. I'm given a few days off to celebrate and rather than stick around in site, I decided to take advantage of this time and go travel.

Destination: Chachapoyas, Amazonas.


So my besties and I did all these touristy things during our 4 days here, like go see the ruins in Kuelap.
I said he couldn't get our faces and that sign with this shot.
So he got just the faces and the sign. Nice. 
Aw, look at how happy we are to see old things.

Look! Fake house.

Went mini spelunking in some caves to go look at some stalagmites (on the ground) and stalactites (on the ceiling), but mostly went cause walking around in mud makes funny squishy noises that make me giggle.

The whole group! We met up the other 3 who happened to have had the same
idea as us :D The more the merrier, I always say!

Our boots coming out of that cave!
We saw some sarcophagi at Karajía after a mini trek through pretty sierran lands, although some opted to ride horses.
THIS GIRL AND HER HORSE. I fell in love.
No, stealing small children and their adorable pets is not beneath me.
Hide yo kids, hide yo pets.
See the sarcophaguys? 

These girls followed us after leading a few horses down the hill
to pick flowers and laugh- a LOT. So friggin cute. I died.

And of course, we went and saw the Gocta falls- the third largest waterfall in the world!! I stood under it with my bestie and omg, mind blowing. As Z put it, it was like a nature/environment orgasm. The water was freezing cold and it looked like mist coming down, but standing under it, it felt like really heavy rain. Everything was so green and the entire basin like area just screamed nature. Seriously, if you ever have the chance to go here, GO. Thankfully, it wasn't rainy season yet so we had the chance to hike down and get up close and personal with the waterfall but the guide said that october/november means rain and rain means you can stand at the mirador and look a the waterfall, but you can't get to it. Sad. So go, but not during rainy season. And the butterflies! SO MANY BUTTERFLIES!!! In the most amazing, bright, fluorescent colors or some were clear! Their wings were SEE THROUGH. Dear lord, when I die, I want my body to be laid out in a field where butterflies like these can just feast on me.

See the waterfall in the back? Yea, we hiked to that.

WATERFALL! Pictures cannot describe.

Chachapoyas was a seriously amazing trip. I had a blast and felt so lucky to be in this world where things like these exist, to be part of a human race that has survived for so long and created such amazing things, and to be there with friends who I love and who love me? I'm probably the luckiest girl in the world.

 
These things are called juanes.
They remind me of tamales/humitas.
But they're a million times better.
Eat them. They're jungle food.

I have a year left, now, to do as much as I possible can in my little site that I now call home. I don't know if I'll be able to leave if my work here doesn't feel complete. Every day, there is just more and more of a chance that I might just stay a third year. I know, I need to get moving on my life and apply to schools and get a job and keep moving forward. I know that there's more for me to do in this world. I just can't shake the feeling that if I don't get my work done while I'm here, I can't go. Not yet. Not until I'm sure my projects won't die when I'm gone. But given all of these thoughts, I can't help but feel so damn pleased that I'm here right now, living in a part of the world that allows me the chance to see so much in such little time. PERU IS FRIGGIN AMAZING. And the volunteers here really can't be beat!


So yea, just wanted to let all of you know how happy I am, with my work and my friends and... well, with life. I know lots of PCVs leave service wishing for something different, but I have to admit that for me, this experience is just getting better and better. I only have a year left, but then again, I HAVE A YEAR LEFT!!

Med checks and another In Service Training is coming up in a few days. I get to see all my lovely youthie 17ers, and get these cavities worked on... But until then, I gotta keep moving!

I hope all of you out there are living lives that you love as much as I'm loving mine! Send me a letter when you get the chance.

OR EVEN BETTER a package! This amazing one here brought to you
by my one and only Momo <3 love="love" momo="momo" you="you">

WELPS that's all for now! Sending lots of love and happy thoughts in your direction (yea you, you lovely, lovely person, you). Leave me some comments, they make me happy.

PEACE AND LOVE < 3

Love < 3