Tuesday, October 30, 2012

day 509: peace corps makes me feel like i suffer from a psychological disorder

Friends.
Today was a shitty day. Which is weird because this past weekend was spectacular.

I think my emotions are broken. I think Peace Corps has succeeded in breaking my feelings. If my sentiments were palpable, I'm pretty sure they'd be in tiny pieces, scattered all over Peru, like ashes in the wind.

So last weekend was the 16er despedida. I dressed up as a dragon (specifically, Drogon- the super awesome one from Game of Thrones), we drank, we ate, we laughed, we danced, and we swam in a lake for a while too. It was great, but I could feel myself falling into a dark, pensive state. I couldn't help myself from thinking about how soon the 16ers would be leaving, how sad that would make me in the next few months, and how my time in PC is slowly but surely coming to an end.

This kind of thought usually results in me freaking out about my lack of future plans- job? school? which one? am I qualified? deadlines? letter of recs? etc. etc. etc.

Still, I had fun and knowing this was the last hurrah for my lovely la lib 16ers, I was happy. And then the weekend ended and everything went to shit.

My municipality has lost my work plan and solicitude at least 3 times, and every time I go in asking about the progress, I am told that they need another copy. I've been into the office at least 2-3 times a week to figure out what is going on. Just a couple of weeks ago, my alcalde said that he would be giving everything we need to run the escuela de padres in one of the schools. YES. After 2 months of annoying everyone, it was finally going to get moving.

Not.

Last week, my alcalde told me to get the forms and things on Friday. I went to the municipality, the alcalde wasn't there (surprise, surprise) and the secretary told me that he would call him and see what's up. I was told to return on Monday because the alcalde needed to look at the paperwork once more.

I show up on Monday, nothing is ready, I'm told to come back on Tuesday. I show up today and lo and behold, still nothing is ready. They ask me to hand them another copy of the entire work plan, as well as a detailed explanation of what I will be using the funds for. Now, this is a project that my socia has been working on, and she's the one who knows all these details. I give her a call and let her know that there's a problem- the solicitude she turned in does not match the amount she's asking for in her work plan. She tells me she'll go to the muni tomorrow and work that out. I sigh, shake my head, and let her deal with that.

Then I turn in my formal solicitude to use the auditorium, sound system, and projector for a movie night I will be doing with my youth group for the day of halloween. The idea is to offer the youth an activity that is fun and doesn't involve drinking/smoking- which is what they would be doing if they go to the discotecas as many had planned on doing that night. I had talked to my muni last week to ask for this space and got a verbal "oh yes, absolutely, no problem, I'll write you down right now." With that, my kids sold tickets and were super pumped.

Today, the secretary turns to me and says that the space is no longer feasible- there is some activity going on that they forgot about.

What.

I'm seriously getting tired of working with my local government. It's slow and they make promises that they don't keep. They are all liars, is what it comes to in my head.

Sadly, I'm losing it at this point. I start cursing like a sailor, realize that I'm saying all these things out loud, explain to them that I'm going to cry, and walk out of there. I give a few other volunteers a call and literally, no one is answering. I give up after the 5th no answer and lose faith in everyone and everything.

Instead, I ride over to the school and try to get in touch with my youth kids. I'm talking to the vice principal and ask if it's possible if we use their space. I meet with the director who says I can use the auditorium, but I'll have to talk to another person about the sound system. I talk to this person who says I can't have the large system because it's broken, but I can use the smaller one- except I have to go buy a cable because they've lost theirs. Also, the sound system does not connect to my laptop, so it's pointless anyway.

I am losing my mind at this point and about to scream/pull out my hair/burst into tears.

I give the secretary another call and ask that if we can't do it on wednesday, can we hold the event on thursday? I'm given the green light.

So the whole point was to do this activity on Halloween, as a way of encouraging the youth to partake in activities that won't get them drunk, pregnant, riddled with disease. That's not going to happen, but at least it'll still be good practice for my youth group...

Sigh.

By the time I got home, it was noon... and to be honest, I had had my fill of BS for the day.

I am now declaring the rest of the evening a free day. I will be buying a large box of besos de moza, a handful of chocolates and chips, possibly a bottle of wine, some polla a la brasa, and curling up to a night of movies and books.

Tuesday is also supposed to be my one free day of the week, but I was asked to teach an english class. Pretty sure I'm going to cancel that and let them know that I'm sick and won't be able to make it.

Let's finish today. Today needs to end now. Ok, that's all.
Hopefully the next post is sooner and happier.

Love you all
peace
k bye.

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